Obama's top 10 most-often used words/phrases

Offered in descending order of usefullness to the Messiah as well as in descending amounts of vacuousness (these two measures corelate very closely.)


1. "Present" (often used figuratively as in his pronouncements on the Iran situation.)
2. Some may say.... (introducing the next straw man...)
3. I must apologize for my country... (only used in the presence of an enemy)
4. ...but I won... (he has to keep reminding us, as if we could forget)
5. ...a problem I inherited... (It's still all GWB's fault...)
6. I really don't want to run a ____ company but... (If I keep saying that, you'll believe me)
7. ...and we will no longer be using the term (something destructive) but instead refer to it as (Orwellean euphemism)... (because Newspeak works!)
8. ....false choices... (In fascism, it's my way or the highway.)
9. Fox News.... biased... devoted to attacking me... (Yes, the media really IS biased!)
10. ...but unemployment/the economy would be much worse if it weren't for the ____ program we passed.... (but there's no way to verify it empirically so you have to take my word for it, my goofy ideas are working!)

Bonus pick: I am totally committed to (something he intends to do nothing about.) (...So don't bother me while I ignore your concerns.)

Two additional bonus picks: UMM and UHHHI think the Umm's and Uhhh's aren't so much words as they are thought spacers. They serve two purposes. First they give the illusion that Obama's thought process is so deep and complex that he struggles to put his ideas into words that us uneducated proles can understand. Secondly and perhaps most importantly, they create a time delay so his teleprompter can flip to the next page.

Government Motors

The New GM Car

NEW GM CAR (Government Motors)
In a special news conference yesterday, Government Motors announced its new concept car... GM is proud to introduce:

The 2010 Obama...
This car runs on hot air and broken promises. It has three wheels that speed the vehicle through tight left turns. It comes complete with two Teleprompters programmed to help the occupants talk their way out of any violation. The transparent canopy reveals the plastic smiles still on the faces of all the "happy" Democrat owners.